Ruminations on travel by car

Here are some observations from the road:

Worst drivers are from Pennsylvania, Ontario, and Ohio, usually in that order. Often someone will be creeping along, you pass them (not even speeding by), and then a game ensues. It is usually at this point that I check the license plate to confirm that, indeed, I am dealing with a driver from one of these lovely northern climes. I am rarely wrong.



About stickers:

I have a ton of them. But there is such a thing as overkill. After a point, if you simply have to add a sticker, then say goodbye to another one. And don't put them on the paint, for pete's sake! It hurts the car.



I hate the stickers that have acronyms that only the driver and two friends from his club or favorite vacation spot can decode. I'm going to get one soon that says MFSWTS - part of this is "stop with the stickers." I'll let you decode the rest. But, seriously, knock it off.



I also don't like decals on the back windshield. My least favorite one - which I see all the time these days - is Jesus with the crown of thorns. You love Jesus. Hey, me too! But I don't want to see bleeding Jesus or tortured Jesus all the time. That is like airbrushing the your grandfather hooked up to life support on a license plate as a means of commemorating him. If you must put some giant iridescent decal of Jesus on your car, why not baby Jesus? Why not Jesus healing someone? And need I remind you that Jesus didn't have blue eyes unless he was an albino? He was part man, and that part was from Jerusalem. Connect the dots.

I think I'm just bitter because I still have a cassette deck in my car. That and the price of gas has now exceeded one million dollars a gallon.